This page is for a more in-depth and more complete summary of the models I use, in addition to my way of understanding memory, trauma, dissociation, parts of the personality, and attachment for those that want to read it. If you want a more basic overview of my approach, read the description on my homepage linked below.
EMDR uses its understanding of memory and trauma (read below), along with Bilateral Stimulation such as eye movements, to efficiently access distressing memories and process/heal the distress. People who do EMDR often experience a significant, permanent reduction in distress related to the memory being worked on, and sometimes associated memories as well. It is an evidence based approach which has been proven to be effective at healing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other forms of distress in many studies. I use an EMDR-informed approach, which makes use of principles and skills to effectively help you to heal.
IFS understands the personality as being made up of a system of different parts, in addition to the Self. From this parts approach, it is possible to effectively work with many different issues, understand yourself at a deeper level, heal parts of you that have been holding on to what IFS calls burdens, such as overwhelming negative feelings or beliefs about ourselves and to negotiate with parts that behave in unhelpful or destructive ways, such as parts that drink/eat excessively, act out aggressively, have an addiction, etc. IFS holds that even parts with unhelpful or dangerous behaviour have (or had) a positive intention for doing it. This is a non-judgemental model. There are no bad parts, only unhelpful roles that they may play. Finally, all parts are welcome! (More about parts here):
Over the past few decades, increasing research has been done into body based ways of understanding and healing trauma, particularly through models like Somatic Experiencing, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, and Polyvagal theory. A key insight is that trauma is stored in the body, more specifically the nervous system. I explain some of this in the Memory section below, but sensations and feelings experienced at the time of the traumatic event can become stuck, leading to dysregulation in the nervous system. This may manifest as chronic pain, tension or fatigue, problems with the digestive system, or other bodily experiences. By tapping into the body's innate ability to heal and resolve this stuck material, we can work through painful stuck memories at the body level.
The use of imagery can be helpful in a variety of different ways - from expressing things in picture form, mentally rehearsing an upcoming event that is causing stress much like Olympic level athletes do with visualizations, or creating helpful coping skills and healing experiences that fit for you. Because of the similar ways our brain experiences reality, imagination and memory, it can be used seamlessly when working with memories too.
Person-centred counselling, AKA client-centred counselling, is a way of working which aims to empower you to make the decisions about what is done in the counselling room. It places you as the expert in your own story. The way I express this is by giving you choices about what happens in a given session. I try to work in an intentional, collaborative way, so that we are spending time on the things you think is going to be helpful. I may offer my thoughts about what I think may be helpful too, but ultimately it is your decision that determines what is done. Nothing happens without your permission.
Narrative Therapy understands the power of the stories we tell ourselves. We interpret experiences through the lens of our stories. They can shape how we feel about ourselves, and influence our behaviour. Narrative therapy can help us to question, examine and change unhelpful stories which it calls 'problem stories' such as "I am worthless", "I don't matter" or "I'm not good enough", while helping to develop or strengthen 'preferred stories' such as "I am worthy", "I matter" or "I am good enough." Narrative therapy also acknowledges that we have many versions of ourselves which show up in different situations, and can work in flexible and pragmatic ways to help these to show up at the right time.
Memory, understood in an integrated way, helps us to make sense of how we are affected by things from the past. Memory is made up of many different associated networks. For example, if there is a theme of "I'm not good enough" running through your life, all the memories which have contributed to this idea will be connected. Normally, memories naturally process into a form of long-term memory which is like a story, often when we sleep. When something shocking or traumatic happens, memory can sometimes be stuck in an un-processed form. When the memory is accessed or remembered, the feelings and other elements of the memory are felt or re-experienced. It may be helpful to view each memory as a node on a network, or a pool of water connected to other pools by little streams of varying sizes. In the pool example, some memories may contain so much traumatic material that they are more like a lake. What is the water made of? Images, feelings and emotions, body sensations, smells, tastes and thoughts/beliefs, which in the case of trauma is the 'traumatic material'. When an association to one of these memories, or the theme of "I'm not good enough" is made, we may experience some of the elements of these memories in the present, sometimes in mild ways like feeling a bit more sad or anxious than the situation calls for, but other times, as in the case of PTSD, these can be vivid, terrifying and confusing, containing all or only some of the elements of the memory (for example, feeling the fear and shame, but not seeing any images, which can add further confusion). In counselling, we can help the water to flow out of the pool/lake, allowing you to be free from it. We can do this together in a variety of ways to match your individual needs and level of distress. Why do some memories get 'stuck' like this? Read the next section on Trauma to find out.
Trauma from an EMDR perspective acknowledges the existence of both big T and small t trauma, Trauma and trauma respectively. Big T trauma consists of the type of traumatic memories which those with PTSD may have experienced or witnessed, such as abuse, violence (all types), disasters or accidents. Big T traumatic memories can be one-off events which have a significant effect on the present, through intrusions into daily life (flashbacks) or when we are trying to sleep (nightmares). Small t traumatic memories may be less intense, but they can still have a significant effect on our daily lives, especially when there are many events, or we were young. Examples of small t traumatic events could be moments of being embarrassed, excluded, or physically hit. It is important to recognize that whether the memory becomes stuck and has an effect on your life depends on a variety of different factors which vary from person to person. Following the pool analogy from above, small t trauma memories may be smaller pools than the big T traumas, but they still contribute to increasing the amount of water in a given 'theme.' Someone with a pervasive sense of anxiety, dread, or hopelessness which is unrelated to the present reality they live in, is often experiencing a kind of trickling out of the traumatic material stuck in memory, which can only be resolved by healing the underlying memory(s).
We all have parts. We often talk about ourselves in parts language, for instance when we say "Part of me wants another piece of cake, but another part of me thinks it is a bad idea", or "Part of me is happy, but another part of me is sad." Some models, such as IFS (see above), Ego-state therapy, and more, recognize these parts as being different sub-personalities, with IFS calling this fact 'normal multiplicity.' One way of understanding this is that different parts of us come up when different regions of the brain are active, and this ideally happens in response to what the situation calls for i.e. you may want the part of you that can aggressively fight back to be there if you are being attacked, but you don't want it to be there when you are playing a card game with your child. When there is a unhelpful behaviour, or distressing feelings and emotions that don't make sense given the situation, it is likely because of parts. Above, I described the burden of unresolved traumatic material as 'pools of water.' These pools of water are often held by parts of us, which are sometimes stuck in 'trauma time' - that is, the time and place of the event. By working with the parts that are involved with the problem directly, we can usually get to the bottom of what is happening and help whatever part(s) need helping much faster than traditional talk therapy.
Dissociation is a word which is used to refer to many different experiences, so here I will try to simplify it. The meaning of the word is simply "to sever" or separate. It is a skill which people use consciously or unconsciously to survive or tolerate experiences that would otherwise be intolerable. When we experience the need to do this often and/or for a long time, it can become our normal.
The two categories of dissociation are:
1) Detachment - From your feelings, body, sense of identity, surroundings, or even reality. (Feeling numb, disconnected, zoned out etc).
2) Compartmentalization - This follows on from the 'Parts' section but specifically refers to when memories or parts of us that hold these memories are blocked, like there is a mental wall that keeps things contained or separate. This is usually present in most trauma-related disorders ranging from PTSD to Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), but is also present to a lesser degree across the population. When this happens, parts of us that aren't helpful for the situation can become stuck in the 'driver's seat', or be blocked out of consciousness. There is less of a flow (or none) between going in and out of different parts as needed, and memories can surface in extremely vivid and distressing ways or be suppressed - often a cycle between the two.
Disclaimer: This is a very basic overview of the topic of dissociation. People may use different language to understand their own experience, such as alters instead of parts. What healing looks like in this area may vary from individual to individual, and I am happy to work with your individual needs and goals.
Attachment is one of the most researched areas in developmental psychology. The big takeaway is that the quality of the relationship between infants/children and their caregivers, (particularly mum if she was the primary caregiver) can have a big impact on their development and ability to connect with themselves and others later on as an adult. Essential attachment needs include safety and security, soothing, emotional attunement, consistency and reliability, support and encouragement, novelty, play and fun, as well as boundaries and structure. The wounds that unmet attachment needs can leave are often more subtle than those from big traumatic experiences, but they can be just as distressing. Luckily, attachment is something that can be healed too, in therapy or in the context of a secure-enough relationship.
To learn about attachment styles, read this: https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/
To learn what your attachment style is, take this quiz: https://quiz.attachmentproject.com/
